dick in my nightstand

Dick in My Nightstand

Where does the time go
Thanks for the nachos and two for one tacos
Good thing tequila does what it does
I didn’t catch feelings but I caught a buzz
I see you talking I’m over here smiling
Cuz I’m fantasizing about riding my chevy off into the sun
As soon as this bowl of guacamole is gone
Cause theres something better waiting at home

I got a dick in my nightstand
I can use with my left hand
When I’m alone it always treats me right
Never too tired on a friday night

Some girls just want a good man with a good job and a good plan
Picket fence with a little white house on a hill with some nice land
But me I got a dick in my nightstand

All my friends saying that I need affection
But I found perfection it doesn’t talk when I’m trying to read
It doesn’t poke me when I’m trying to sleep

I got a dick in my nightstand
I can use with my left hand
When I’m alone it always treats me right
Never too tired on a friday night

Some girls just want a good man with a good job and a good plan
Picket fence with a little white house on a hill with some nice land
But me I got a dick in my nightstand

It doesn’t get mad at me when I want to watch grays anatomy
It won’t piss on the toilet seat
Or drag me to an applebees

I got a dick in my nightstand
I can use with my left hand
When I’m alone it always treats me right
Never too tired on a friday night

Some girls just want a good man with a good job and a good plan
Picket fence with a little white house on a hill with some nice land
But me I got a dick in my nightstand

I see you talking I’m over here smiling
Cuz I’m fantasizing about riding my chevy off into the sun
As soon as this bowl of guacamole is gone

Damnit the batteries are dead

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