took myself to the theater
I bought myself a dinner
I walked
I bought myself an ice cream
And I think now I’ll make
Love to myself
The house without light
The cold on my feet
I start to think
I lie down the wrong way
In bed, time passes by
Only remembering
Like a sorrowful soul
I keep waiting
I’m so lacking in affection
From past years
Wanting as a child
Hating as an adult
And I prefer to play the fool
So I don’t seem so lonely
Only noise like a river
I discreetly smile
I put on the long dress
The shine covers everything
The fear gurgling
The laughter delirious
And now I’m back to zero
Counting backwards
Even if I lost a finger
I give myself again
The bad way I was born
I try to hide it
That the wounds heal
I live waiting
And I start making a list
Of so many
So many deceased
In the homeland that adopts me
There are so many disappeared
And I have so much sorrow
So much anger in my throat
This distant humanity
Selfish and murderous
To sing from within
It doesn’t matter whose voice
There’s so much to tell you
That one song isn’t enough
I’m not very good at talking
Nor at writing
They are just crazy words
From a madwoman
A madwoman who has died