Hätt ich gewusst English Translation Lyrics by MEHNERSMOOS
For years, I’ve only wanted you
But you always call me your bestie
At the party, you sent me away
Because your ex was coming by
And now I’m lying here, crying into my pillow
Clicking through the Pornhub front page suggestions
After the tenth time jerking off, the doorbell rings
Suddenly you’re standing there with a pack of condoms
You ask if I have time, I say, “Damn it,
Why didn’t you let me know?”
If I had known you were coming, I wouldn’t have jerked off
Instead, I would’ve bought wine and picked flowers
But it is what it is
If I had known you were coming, I wouldn’t have jerked off
La-la-la, la, la, la, la-la, la
La-la-la, la, la
La-la-la, la, la, la, la-la, la
La-la-la, la, la
For years, I’ve only wanted you
But I’m too scared to confess
Even in school, you never noticed me
And I always secretly jerked off to your yearbook picture
And now I’m lying here, totally down
Watching videos where they’re screwing and blowing
After the nth time jerking off, the doorbell rings
And you’re standing there in a Playboy Bunny outfit
And ask if I have time, I say, “Damn it,
Why didn’t you let me know?”
If I had known you were coming, I wouldn’t have jerked off
Instead, I would’ve bought wine and picked flowers
But it is what it is
If I had known you were coming, I wouldn’t have jerked off
Oh no, oh no, oh no
You can’t come in now
Porn everywhere and cum, I’m such a pig
Oh no, oh no
It smells like farts and sweat
Please come by some other time
Hey, it’s no problem, I’m not disappointed
But for your porn addiction, you need a therapist
I’ve got the number for you
It’s 0177 9744852
La-la-la-la-la, la-la, la-la-la-la-la
La-la-la-la-la, la-la, la-la, la-la-la-la
But it is what it is
If I had known you were coming, I wouldn’t have jerked off (Oh no)